I think I know how William Shatner feels. Get this, right? I show up to the store 45 minutes before the event starts and there’s already like five people there. How do I know they’re there to see me? They’re all wearing long, red wigs!
For anyone who hasn’t read my novels (seriously, why are you here then?), my protagonist, Angela Beam has really long, red hair. It’s sort of her signature.
I assumed the five knew each other and planned this, but none of them spoke to each other the entire night. Freaky.
I ended up with about 25 people in the audience and we had books for everyone. A guy called Roger handed me his manuscript, tied in a shiny purple ribbon, as if I’m some kind of literary agent or something. I could have told him to give it to Lenore, but she wouldn’t have read it. I just smiled at the guy and slid the manuscript under my chair. I threw it away once I got back to the hotel. What a snobbish dick am I. It’s a good thing Burbank was there to fish it out or else this Roger guy’s story would never see the light of day. And it’s good, Roger if you’re reading this. I trust fellow author Burbank’s literary judgment like I trust my own.
He added another thing to Things Burbank Notices, my favorite yet. “Bookstores smell like a varnished forest.” Poetic, that. Hate to think of what they’ll smell like when everything goes digital.
For anyone who hasn’t read my novels (seriously, why are you here then?), my protagonist, Angela Beam has really long, red hair. It’s sort of her signature.
I assumed the five knew each other and planned this, but none of them spoke to each other the entire night. Freaky.
I ended up with about 25 people in the audience and we had books for everyone. A guy called Roger handed me his manuscript, tied in a shiny purple ribbon, as if I’m some kind of literary agent or something. I could have told him to give it to Lenore, but she wouldn’t have read it. I just smiled at the guy and slid the manuscript under my chair. I threw it away once I got back to the hotel. What a snobbish dick am I. It’s a good thing Burbank was there to fish it out or else this Roger guy’s story would never see the light of day. And it’s good, Roger if you’re reading this. I trust fellow author Burbank’s literary judgment like I trust my own.
He added another thing to Things Burbank Notices, my favorite yet. “Bookstores smell like a varnished forest.” Poetic, that. Hate to think of what they’ll smell like when everything goes digital.
Dear Burbank,
ReplyDeleteYou did what?! What’re you going to do? Try to publish this man’s novel yourself? Christ, Burbank. What if he’s reading this blog? Be more careful. Goodnight.
--Milo
It wasn't a wig. I dyed my hair red. Can't wait to read your sock book.
ReplyDeleteNow that's dedication. Thanks for coming!
ReplyDelete--Milo